Or is it?

I ran my first half-marathon in 2011. In typical me fashion, I had also decided to simultaneously study for the GMAT and was putting on a major fashion show at the time, so of course I wasn’t able to train the way one should for any half-marathon, let alone their first ever. Needless to say, it was painful.

In this particular race, the half and full marathon participants ran alongside each other for a portion of the race and as I panted along, wondering how I would ever finish the 13.1 miles, I thought to myself, “There is no way I could EVER run a full-marathon!”

Five years later I ran the New York marathon. I was reminded of this experience this morning as I was out on my morning run, thinking of the time when that marathon seemed absolutely overwhelming, something that other people did, but I could never do. And then I thought of how I slowly worked up to it, running further and further, finding the right training programs and support systems until I had that medal draped around my neck in Central Park.

Why does this matter? I realized that It’s a great metaphor for anything that may seem daunting and right now for me, this project is what seems absolutely overwhelming. I have so many hopes and ideas for it and as a result, I set unrealistic goals and make crazy to-do lists, like writing ten articles in one weekend, or mastering my DSLR to create the perfect photo aesthetic and curate an impossibly flawless Instagram grid. As a result of wanting to do everything immediately, I end up shutting down and doing nothing but binging bad Netflix and feeling guilty. I rationalize that if I can’t meet all of the goals I’ve set I’ve already failed, so why bother at all?

I’ve also been known to let my self-doubt take over and flood my mind with thoughts like, “No one will ever read this,” “You don’t know anything about jewelry,” and “Why would anyone care about your opinion?” This is never a productive exercise and has led to months (years!) of procrastination and sporadic posting. Eeek!

Instead of falling into this hole of paralysis, when this devil appears on my shoulder I have to keep reminding myself that my primary motivation in this endeavor is the blissful catharsis of creating an outlet that honors my thoughts and guides me to discover and illuminate my ever evolving story. To be able to do it through the lens of jewelry, this beautiful medium I’ve been fascinated with since I was a child, is what makes me feel creatively and inquisitively alive and that’s the gift I’m giving to myself.

So just as my baby steps eventually became a marathon stride, my goal for myself with this project is to complete one small task a day. It could be as small as writing one sentence, but it has to be something. It’s my offering and I hope that my words do connect with the audience that is seeking them, but if no one reads them, I’m ok with that. I’ll always know they’re there.